Not My Type ::SuiKarin
by Tobi the Hubcap Thief
Summary: Suigetsu learns that Karin isn't as fond of Sasuke as she once was. As it turns out, Sasuke just isn't her type. Implied Sexual themes/conduct.SuiKarin, SuiKa, Suigetsu x Karin.


The sky was blue today, and the sun's ray's stretched languidly towards the treetops, bathing all it touched in contiguous warmth. Clouds were minimal; the only visible cloud was very small, or perhaps very far away from where he sat. Suigetsu gazed indolently up at the sky, rubbing his thumb along the edge of his sword, grinning in relish when he felt the blade nick his skin. Of course, if he looked down he would not see blood, only water. Arrogant and masochistic though he may seem, he was in no way stupid. Karin, of course, would have claimed otherwise. Vindictive little bitch. Why, just this morning she'd poured pepper flakes into his morning tea, blaming _him_ for the disappearance of her precious pair of glasses. She'd been right to accuse him, of course, but he hardly believed he'd deserved the punishment he'd received in return. His throat still burned from coughing up the scalding, peppery tea and he still felt the itch in his fingers—the same itch he'd felt earlier today when Juugo had allowed a condescending smirk to cross his lips in response to Suigetsu's predicament—to punch the sardonic fool.

Though he didn't appreciate his mockery and held a general dislike for Juugo, Suigetsu _did_ respect the power that accompanied his quick temper, and had restrained himself because of it. But he simply couldn't allow Karin to get away with making him look like a fool—Sasuke had hardly an ounce of respect for him as it was, and neither did Juugo, for neither of them knew the true beauty held in the blade of a sword. To pay her back, he'd slipped the glasses under her the pillow of her sleeping bag, but not before scratching one of the lenses. The scratch wasn't large or deep. It was small and slightly to the edge of the lens, just visible enough in her peripheral view to drive her crazier than she already was. Naturally, he expected retribution for his actions, but he would bear it quietly. It would be several days before they reached a suitable market where she could replace the lens, and until then she would either have to attempt to ignore the scratch, or stumble along blindly if she chose not to wear her glasses at all. Her decision, Suigetsu decided, was well worth seeing despite anything she did to him in return.

Meanwhile, he'd just have to learn to sleep with one eye open. That shouldn't be too hard of an accomplishment; he did this on a nightly basis, on account of his perpetual fear of waking up one night to find that Sasuke had pressed a knife to his throat. Needless to say, he did not have as much trust in His Surliness as he let most assume. On a side note, however, if Karin should ever suspect that _Sasuke_ had been the one to take her glasses, it was doubtful he'd receive the same treatment as Suigetsu. Something about this thought made him frown. It wasn't fair. She'd never treated him with the same respect as she did Sasuke, or even Juugo for that matter! It wasn't like she had any real reason to resent him for his snide commentary. Even Juugo slipped in a few remarks now and then. But she never got angry with him, and as for Sasuke, any attention she got from him was more than welcome any day as far as she was concerned. Suigetsu knew this. Perhaps this was one of the reasons for his lingering dislike for the boy, aside from his obvious hypocrisy. "Don't kill them Suigetsu, show them proper respect as I all but spit in this guy's face for offering me two paper bombs for the price of one!" Suigetsu mentally whined. Jackass. Manwhore. Porcelain doll.

Perhaps Karin respected them only because they were so powerful. Sasuke's overall demeanor and demigodly appearance spoke for itself, and Juugo's strength fluctuated depending on his mood. It was better to be safe than sorry, and hold a certain level of respect for him lest she want to be snapped like a toothpick in one of his rages. Regardless, Karin had seen Suigetsu fight, too, and witnessed him kill more than three shinobi at a time! How could he possibly be considered inferior to them? She had once told him that it was his chakra that disgusted her the most. Heinous little witch.  
Juugo…Sasuke…the mention of their names made his skin itch in frustration. What did either of those two have that he didn't? More importantly, why did he care? Why did it bother him, such that his normally peaceful mind wanderings were shattered and replaced by such troublesome musings?

_Because it's not fair…it's just not fair…not fair, not fair, not fair!_ he commenced his internal whining once again. If he complained as much out loud as he did in his head, he'd be a weapon of mass destruction all by himself without ever lifting a finger; his vocal complaints were bad enough. But really, the injustice of it all was simply infuriating. The more he thought about it, the more irritable he became, but he was unable to think of anything else. Once such thoughts entered his mind t was nothing less than impossible to dispose of them. His eyes narrowed, this time not on account of the sun's glaring rays. Karin's callousness had plagued him for far too long.  
He _would_ demand her respect. To do this, all he really had to do was leave her alone.

Impossible?  
Not quite, but damn close to it. His plan relied on the fact that Karin had come to expect him to be a snarky, narcissistic smartass. If he played the same card as she did—by this he meant to ignore her actions by failing to retaliate with his own—it was only a matter of time before she took better notice of him. Perhaps she'd eventually begin to hold him in higher regard. It was a doubtful possibility, yes, but how else could he expect to get her attention? She'd made it a habit to ignore him when she saw fit. He aimed to change that.  
Thus, he hitched both legs over the branch on which he'd been sitting and kicked off, landing soundly on the ground no more than six feet below him. He effortlessly slung his zanbatou behind his back. In a mood just as surly as the Uchiha himself, he headed back to team Taka's temporary camp, where he was sure to find Karin throwing a fit upon his return. He looked forward to it.  
Karin was not one to disappoint.  
As he neared their makeshift camp, he saw Juugo cast a fleeting glance towards him, then up above Suigetsu's head, and back. He now wore an expression that seemed oddly rueful. Suigetsu paused mid-step, half expecting Sasuke to be plotting an ambush on him from above. This theory was quickly negated when he saw the raven-haired boy next to the campfire, stifling an angsty sigh—(oh the woes of being an egotistical manwhore; would he _ever_ catch a break)? No, what happened next was worse than an ambush from Sasuke. It was an ambush from Karin.

And he'd made the mistake of hesitating in her wake. The witch swooped down on him, presumably from the same tree Juugo had been looking at, and struck him so hard that he faceplanted the ground. He felt weight on his back and knew she was sitting on him, attempting to choke the life out of his pale, skinny body. He deflected her awkwardly, rolling her off of him and quickly sidestepping her as she tried to knock him down again as he stood. And then…nothing. As much as he would have liked to pin her down and raise all hell to show her who was really in charge, he only allowed himself to go as far as to dust himself off. He did so daintily, as though nothing of any excitement had occurred. As if he were swatting away a pesky fly. He then proceeded to go about his business as Karin shot daggers at him with her indignant glare.

By now, the sun had faded. It would set soon, and Suigetsu might find it easier to keep up his silent act of maturity. But for now, he would have to ignore Juugo's bewildered expression and Sasuke's general existence. And try not to do so much as glance at Karin, whom was fuming audibly nearby.  
"Stupid ugly cretin..." she growled, a string of profanities followed suit, "…the fuck did he put my glasses?"  
Suigetsu bit back a smirk. So she hadn't found her glasses after all. Perhaps she'd lie down on them and break them. Oh, that'd be perfect. Then she wouldn't really be able to blame him—maybe he'd even convince her it wasn't his doing after all and have her apologize. As if. He'd like to keep his manhood for just a little while longer, thanks. Besides, he was supposed to be behaving. The very idea must have caused him to pull a face, because now Sasuke was giving him a questioning look. He let his face go blank and, with another glance at the darkening sky, decided to turn in early tonight.

The next morning was blissfully uneventful. Team Taka headed out early in the morning, and for once Suigetsu failed to voice his complaints about the chilly morning air. The fact that there was nothing to eat for breakfast? Tragic, really, but Suigetsu held his tongue. He just wished his stomach would do the same. In absence of Suigetsu's normally bad mood, Karin's was truly demonic this morning. He later overheard Juugo telling Sasuke it was because she had no one to yell at—Suigetsu was behaving himself so far today. She had no reason to yell at him, thus no way to vent her anger. Sasuke nodded, but it was obvious he hadn't really been listening. He was currently savoring the rare silence they were experiencing this morning. Analytical as always, he'd wondered why Suigetsu wasn't making an ass of himself today, but then decided he didn't care. It was _quiet_. And it more or less stayed that way for the next three days. Until Karin's frustration began to overflow.

On the fourth day of silence, they'd stopped for a break that was to last three hours at most. Apparently, Sasuke was feeling generous today. Karin was still somewhat irritable, though Suigetsu couldn't understand why. He hadn't spoken a word to her in days. Then again, he also hadn't told her the whereabouts of her glasses, either. They were presumably still in the sleeping bag where he'd put them. She kept casting furtive glances at Suigetsu, as if expecting him to do some kind of bizarre backflip when she wasn't looking. He would have if she'd asked. He was beginning to feel the same kind of infatuation for Karin as she had initially felt for Sasuke.

Of course, he was unaware that Sasuke's chakra now frightened her more than enchanted her. Unaware that as much as she respected Sasuke, his sudden surge in power had tainted her feelings for him, or that Suigetsu's sudden silence made her feel alone in the world again. Because his humor had been the only thing to keep her company recently. Because truthfully, she'd rather have someone around to piss her off than someone who ignored her completely. Suigetsu didn't know that Karin only said and did the things she did to appeal to the person he was. Didn't know that she expected the same in return, and wanted to hear nothing less than the raw, unadulterated filth he was prone to spouting with the most inappropriate timing. It had only been four days. She should have been thrilled.

But instead of reveling in what were probably the most peaceful days she'd had in months, she found herself missing him. And she was going to march right up there to him and demand to know what his problem was.  
"We've wasted fifteen minutes more than I intended," Sasuke's voice cut in, "Let's head out."  
Later. She'd demand to know later. Sighing, she grabbed her bag and instinctively reached for her glasses—which she still hadn't found yet. Oh yes, later. She'd get her glasses back then, as well. She cast another quick glare at Suigetsu, whom didn't seem to notice (oh how she'd love to mop up the floor with his face right now), and started walking. Regardless of what he did or didn't do, said or didn't say, he still somehow managed to piss her off. She found such qualities sexy in a man…along with tight abs, a large chest, and a nice butt, but oh well. Perfection was a major turn-off anyway. Yeah right…who was she trying to fool?

It was nearing dusk when they finally stopped for the night. How long was their trip going to take, anyway? Suigetsu's petulant nature returned against his will, demanding a bed and something to eat. And Karin. His hand was getting tired, you see. But he wouldn't think about that now. His empty stomach was the most important matter to tend to. Since Manwhore seemed to be expecting them to starve until they got to the nearest village, Suigetsu would have to take matters into his own hands. He was going fishing.  
Or attempting to, at the very least.  
Karin watched him go with mild impatience. He was making it very difficult for her to pull him aside to talk. He'd been sitting there for a while just staring into space, then taken off into the undergrowth without warning. Fine. She'd go in after him. And _then_ she'd make an ass of herself. She disappeared into the forest, intent on finally giving him a piece of her mind.  
It didn't take long to find him. The lanky bastard was hardwired to find any source of water nearby, and splash in it. She heard him cursing at the top of his lungs long before she glimpsed the lake he was in. she stood at the water's edge and looked on in amusement.

"Son of a bitch,"he was yelling to himself, "you're a fish! You're supposed to be my dinner! How dare you sass me!"  
"And just how has your entrée disrespected you, may I ask? Is it giving you the silent treatment? I'd know all about that here lately." Karin stated loudly.  
Suigetsu blanched and turned to face her, mouth pulled into a tight scowl. "It spiked me with its dorsal fin," he stated wryly. He held up bloody hands as proof. "And I would have thought that you'd be _enjoying_ my lack of jackassery, not scolding me on behalf of it. Don't tell me you're missing me already!" he scoffed.  
"So what if I am?" she asked flatly, eyes narrowing. He shut up then, eyeing her skeptically. Karin clenched her fists. "Don't give me that look! You're the one at fault here. In all my life, I've never seen anyone so obnoxious, so infuriating, so…_there_! You're always right there! Talking nonstop, trying to piss me off, taking what doesn't belong to you…taking what's mine! And you think that one day all of a sudden you can just _stop_? Do you really think you have any right to just ignore me after all that? Huh? Do you? I don't fucking think so! I've only just gotten used to being pestered all day and night by your sorry ass. I expect you to be loud—it's normal, and you acting like this is disrupting it! You're. Ruining. My. Normal. And I won't have it, you hear me? I just won't have it."

Karin panted furiously, cheeks red from the effort of yelling. Suigetsu stared at her, stunned.  
"But Sasuke—" he began,  
"What about him?" she snapped, "I was talking about you. Somehow, he just doesn't fit into the equation."  
"Oh, but he does. You like him. He's quiet and pondering. I figured if I adopted that sort of personality…" he shrugged mildly. _Maybe you'd like me, too._ he thought.  
"Lately, his personality is nothing less than foreboding. He's not…"the realization came to her suddenly, though it had been there all along, "He's not my type."  
"And I _am_?" Suigetsu asked, skeptically arching a brow.  
Karin hesitated, but there was no going back now. "Yeah. I guess you are."  
Well great. Now that that was settled..."So…now what?" he wondered aloud.  
"I don't know. You always claimed to be the genius. Shouldn't you know?"

A sly grin played upon his lips. That was the wrong question to ask someone like Suigetsu. If he couldn't have the food he'd been mentally demanding earlier, he'd go to the next best thing. Karin. She didn't miss a beat. She hurriedly changed the subject.  
"Where are my glasses?"she demanded solemnly.  
"They're in your sleeping bag, but I don't think you'll be needing them tonight."  
As it turned out, Suigetsu was right. In fact, she wouldn't need her glasses until the following morning. Because they wouldn't be returning until then.


End file.
